In Search of Perfection: The Perfect Paradox

Mental Health Awareness Week 2025, and in pretty continuous reflection of my own journey & battle with mental health; and my historic (and still working on it) chase of “perfect”, especially when it comes to our relationship with our jobs. 

Being back in the recruitment seat, I’ve been connecting and reconnecting with some truly wonderful people. And one thing keeps bubbling to the surface in my musings: the relentless search for perfection - both from candidates and from employers.

A little while back, I had a very thought-provoking chat with a lovely contact of mine that’s been stuck in my mind ever since. She told me about a young, recently graduated marketing exec she was managing who’d been in her role for about four or five months, and she was doing just fine!

However, she genuinely believed it was her inherent right to love her job every single day. If she had a bad day, she’d assume the job was wrong, the culture was toxic, and everyone was out to get her.  If she was corrected or directed, she believed she was being pigeonholed, and if she was told no, she wasn’t being given the opportunity to make an impact.   

Sound familiar? Sadly, this isn’t an isolated story. I’d argue social media plays a pretty big role in this narrative, but more on that another time!

Think about this: this young lady probably grew up, Instagram/TikTok in hand, witnessing endless streams of #LoveMyJob, #BestJobEver, #Blessed posts on social channels, highlight reels of perfect colleagues (ahem, influencers maybe) in flawless work environments, and through the ‘living the dream’ filter.

It’s no wonder she was disappointed when reality didn’t match the highlight reel!

This mentality feeds into a dangerous expectation - that we should be perpetually happy and perfect in our careers (and lives). When that doesn’t happen, it feels like failure. And that’s where the trouble begins. Life, work, relationships - they’re messy - so we look further and harder for perfection.

And in reality, they’re a beautiful chaos, not a perfectly curated Instagram feed. This unrealistic pursuit of constant happiness and flawlessness can lead to a cycle of jumping ship, of feeling insecure, and subsequently being labelled as ‘jumpy’ or ‘difficult’ when things get tough.

Meanwhile, if you find a job that you enjoy some of the time, is pretty average most of the time, and pays the bills? Honestly, you’re probably doing okay.

I love my family…truly, with all my heart, but if I’m honest, some days they’re REALLY hard to like! Does that mean I should throw in the towel, get divorced, and put the kids up for adoption? (OBVIOUSLY, I jest!)

But, no, life is about polarity...the good days and the bad days, the highs and the lows. You can’t have one without the other.

Now, let’s flip the lens to employers. Many businesses, especially now, it’s bloody hard out there, are fighting for survival.  They’re on the hunt for “That Perfect Candidate” - the unicorn, and with financial limitations, perhaps only the budget for one extra headcount – the silver bullet who will solve all their problems!

They showcase their workplaces as utopias during interviews, promising #BestJobEver and #MakingAnImpact, while often disregarding those “jumpy” applicants or candidates who don’t fit their ideal mould. 

Eventually, they find someone they think is perfect - and then high expectations set in. They expect instant performance from day one, often with minimal onboarding or support. When reality bites and flaws emerge, disappointment follows – and I’m talking on both sides. 

This fuels a cycle of turnover and strained relationships, of cynicism and of burnout. It’s a cycle that can damage mental health and undermine trust, and almost becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

I’m massively generalizing here, and of course, many organizations are doing amazing work and are working hard to improve this. But the truth remains: the cycle of chasing perfection damages both individuals and organizations alike.

So, what’s the solution? Honestly, I don’t have a magic wand; and quite honestly sometimes I find the scale of it completely overwhelming myself.  But I do believe there’s a delicate balance between pushing through teething problems and accepting that some days will be downright sh*t.

It’s about resilience, honesty, and a collective effort to stop portraying life as perfect on social media and in real life. 

We need to talk openly about the days we want to throw in the towel, the mistakes we learn from, and the resilience we build along the way. Because the truth is: you will have bad days. And that’s okay.  In fact, it’s essential, because if you don’t have the crap days, how will you recognise the ‘punch-the-air-whoop’ days?

Almost nothing in life will turn out exactly as you imagined—and even when it does, there will still be days when everything feels like a struggle.

And those who #LoveTheirJobs? I can guarantee they’ll admit they don’t love it every single day. And that’s perfectly normal.

Kx